Parenting & Learning in the AI World

Over the last few months I had been sitting with questions on how parenting & teaching should evolve with the advancement and usage of AI. To find out the answers, I reached out to many parents/teachers to have open discussions. Apart from people who gave me dedicated time, I brought up the topics whenever I would meet a parent/teacher. Following are some of the highlights of the discussions I had.

AI is inevitable — but the speed is the problem

Everyone acknowledged that AI cannot be stopped, only managed. The worry wasn’t AI itself but the pace at which it is arriving before children, parents, and schools have developed any framework to navigate it.

AI collapses the learning cycle before it can form

Easy access to AI removes the struggle, which reduces the learning cycle. Solving a sum by hand, reading from a book, sitting with an unanswered question — these are cognitively different acts from querying an AI. When easy paths are chosen in most of the cases, children may lose the process to find out the answers on their own. Later in life, it would be a real challenge to have the mindset of finding answers on their own if not built at the right age. 

One of the teacher/parent participants mentioned that her students are able to finish the assignments/classwork easily, but the same students struggle to answer the question papers in the exam where there is no internet or AI access.

The real fear is manipulation, not information

Several parents flagged AI’s ability to subtly shape behaviour as their deepest concern. One parent put it plainly: “The way people behave can be changed through AI.” Another noted pointedly: “AI never advises you to stop using it.” The worry is not what AI tells children but what it quietly makes them become.

The generational divide cuts both ways

Most of the participants of the open discussions were in the age group of 35-50. In that everyone mentioned or kind of agreed that we have seen pre- & post-internet and are now seeing pre- & post-AI. We have the wisdom to use AI and mentally step back from it at will, but that may not be the case with the new generation of children. 

What steps Parents already taking

To reduce the screen time, parents are already encouraging and sometimes even participating in offline activities and sports with their children. That’s great. Should usage of AI be considered as screen time or something else? Let’s discuss it later in this post. 

Most parents are flying blind — and they know it

Several parents admitted they had never thought about AI privacy and manipulation before the conversation. This was not unusual. Awareness is largely confined to a small, reflective minority. As one parent put it plainly: “Only a few parents who have time ask these questions.” We are in the minority.”

A child who has never completed a full learning cycle won’t even know what they are losing when AI does it for them.

AI and Screen Time Are Not the Same Problem

Screen time is passive — scrolling, watching, consuming. AI is active and conversational. But that doesn’t make AI automatically safer. The critical distinction is who is doing the thinking. A child using AI to extend their own curiosity is doing something valuable. A child using AI to bypass thinking entirely is doing something more harmful than passive screen time — because it creates a genuine illusion of having learned. Unlike entertainment, which a child knows is entertainment, AI replacement deceives both the child and the parent.

The Homework Loop Nobody Is Talking About

AI completes homework faster. Free time opens up. Free time becomes screen time. Learning drops to zero — but the homework is submitted, so everything looks fine. Nobody is lying. The obligation is met. The cognitive work simply never happened. Worse, each time AI absorbs the effort, the child’s tolerance for difficulty shrinks a little further. And when peers discover this shortcut — which they already have — it spreads faster than any school policy can counter. The loop is invisible, self-reinforcing, and already running.

The Road Forward: Self Directed Learning First

While going through my Diploma in Experiential Education & Practices (DEEP), I came across a term called Self-Directed Learning (SDL) and started doing more research on that. SDL is an approach which empowers the learners to take control and lead their learning journey. The learner would identify his/her learning goals, gather resources and decide strategies to adopt. They then set off for their learning journey and evaluate the outcome. And this cycle continues.

I was then wondering how we can just leave the children to implement SDL on their own. It may be challenging for them, and at the same time, parents (including me) would not have any clue what all is going on. Again I went back to my learnings from DEEP, where we explored Kolb’s Learning Cycle, in which there is a continuous loop of experience, reflection, abstraction and experimentation.

And thought that it would be nice if we could integrate that within the SDL for our children. The next question then was how to keep track of different SDLs children might be having at the same time (think of them as SDLs for different subjects or topics). As I have an IT background, I thought some kind of Kanban board might be good.

Above sounded good, but how would children do it all alone? For this, I believe a parent or someone else has to play the role of a facilitator. The facilitator’s role is going to be very important. They should be able to ask the right questions and hold back answers. The facilitator should not move cards on behalf of children. The children should do it on their own.

After coming up with the above, I had a feeling that I had kind of cracked something, just to realise that something similar is already being implemented in a few alternative learning centres. This is a relief, and I am happy that I could independently think through it and connect the dots. 

When setting up the SDL, it is important to not use AI. Exploring from books, libraries and maybe just Googling should be used.

The Road Forward: Using AI as a Tool

Once the SDL is set for the children without using AI, which we can check with certain milestones like:

• They move cards forward without being prompted by an adult.
• They ask “why” and “what if” questions on their own initiative.
• They can articulate what they don’t know — and are curious, not anxious, about it.
• They show comfort sitting with an unanswered question rather than needing immediate resolution.

If milestones are met, then we should be ok to introduce AI to the children, as by then children would have experienced multiple complete learning cycles. They would just use AI as a tool and not something that short-circuits the learning process. This is my best guess as of now :).

A Final Thought

I believe with the above approach we ensure that when AI enters their lives, they bring something to it — a formed mind, a practised learner, an inner voice that is genuinely their own. Setting up SDL may sound like a daunting task, but once set, it would be set for life, which may eventually make parents’ lives easier :).

I am in for it to try it out; are you?